Posted by fighter ace extreme on August 10, 2004 at 18:12:02:
Poster's IP was: 126.96.36.199
ROAD TRIP by: jim,amber,and gary ch.1
this story is based on true events, dates and places
have been changed in order to protect my freinds centaur and human alike. oh yea look out for immature jokes.YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!
hello everybody, my names jim taylor,and i'd like to tell you(a-hem) uuh,oh,yea,right,this is my very best freind amber "hi" (gets really really close to the cameria) she's a centauress (whispers- and a grumpy one at that i personally, think she should try anger managment but thats just me)hahahahahahahahaha
ahhh man i crack myself up
SHUT UP JIM !!!!!!!!!
huhuhuhuhuhuhu, anyway I,I mean 'WE' (thank you jim)
want to tell you about a trip 'WE' (thank you again)
took 2 summers ago and all the little interesting things that happened along the way to sanfranciso for a concert that me and chris got tickets for amber as a present for her birthday,
we thought it would be a nice gift.(you guys gotta save me from these guys they're bad for my health)
we were dumber then than we are right now
i dunno if thats possable for amber!!!
oh you're a regular little comedian.
dont call me little, im 22 years old respect my athoritaaaaaa (like eric cartman)
oh im sorry little boy didnt meen to hurt your ego
SHUT UP, STOP CALLING ME LITTLE.
what ever you say LITTLE BOY,child,cult,kid,minor,non adult person.
hahahahahaha see i know how to push your bottons to LITTLE BOY.
alright thats enouph i think this reader would like to read our story now!!!
amber :awwwww but i wanna pinch the little boys cheeks ^o^lol
>=0 shut up amber, i'm not a little boy,OLD LADY!!!!
(stomps her hoof)"OLD LADY"!?!?!?!?!?
yea OLD LADY, you ole fart better get back on your resperator before you pass out from breathing normal air hahahahahaha!!!!
gary: oooooooooooooooohhhh you just got put down amber
both:shut up gary!!!!!
i'm not old im only 24
well im 22 and that makes you older than me so you're OLD.
both: shut up gary!!!
you are OLD i meen your hooves are molding for goodness sake
"those are grass stains you retard"
i said its mold and that final missy
i am not old
your are to
not not not not not not
uh hu, uh hu, uh hu, you are to old
(jim starts doing the irish river dance while singing " old lady old lady old lady amber's an ole lady"
shut up jim,i swear you're so immature!!!
say it amber and i'll stop
ok then, thats your answere
(dances faster) ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh have you ever met my freind amber she's the oldest centauress in the whole wide world with her long grey hair and wrinkly skin she needs to be in the nursing home,ohhhhhhhh...
ok ok i give, you win
say it amber
your are the...aster....ish
i cant hear you!!
YOU ARE,MASTER OF THE DISH
and dont you forget it
gary: ok reader sorry bout that lets start the story now, you guys injoy the story while i baby sit these nuts.
amber/jim:shut up gary!!!!!!!!!!!!
CH.1 THE TICKETS......OF DOOOOOOOOM >XD hahahahaha
(i couldn't resist).
june 3,2002 7:30 a.m.
pow pow pow
jim:wake up amber we're late
amber:shut up im getting my make up on
jim:(rolls his eyes) women and their make up
(she opens the door)
amber: well atleast us women care how we look
(she walked out, stepping on my foot i might add)
amber:whoops sorry, are you ok?
(i held my foot in pain)
jim: nothing a lawsuit won't fix
(she gave me a shocked look)
jim: i'm kidding amber, im fine now lets go we're already late
amber:where are we going again
(we steped out of our apartment and i locked the door)
jim: we're going to chris's he has my bike and also he has some thingamajig to show us.
amber:oh you have such a way with words
jim: you are just begging to get slugged this morning
(we steped into the elevator)
amber: i'd like to see you try
jim: oh i'll do more than that ill give ya a little of this (kicks)and a little of that (thrusts his fist forwards in a puching fashion) and mabie a little of this to (pretends to have someone in a strangle hold)
amber: yea yea what ever little man
(the doors opened and we steped out into the lobby then started towards the main entrance)
amber: so what are you gonna do about groceries this month
jim: i thought you were taking care of that
amber:no, remember i have the electric, water,and phone bills this month you were taking the food,car note,and rent
jim: aww man my head hurts
amber:its gonna hurt even more if you dont get a better memory quik fast and in a hurry.
(we both got into 'MY' van ,ok ok its more like a cross between a van and an s.u.v. but its still mine regardless. dont worry all the windows are tented green hehehehehe stylin)
amber: so are you gonna take care of those bills i meen mr.johnny ( he's our land lord and he is evil and FAT did i mention evil and he takes prozac (by the truckload) every two hours)is just looking for a reason to through us out on the street!
jim:i know , man that fat dude scares me
amber: how so?
jim: well everytime i see him he gives me this look that just screams "you can count on me visiting you with my 12 gage tonight"
amber: yea he doese kinda give off that creepy psycho stalker vibe doesnt he, i swear when he is near i just wanna rear up and stomp him cuz he so ugly.
jim: better not he's so fat your hooves will get stuck in his fat and he'll slowly obsorb you.
(like i said we are immature you were warned)
jim/amber:(look at each othere) hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
amber: remind me not to be around when he gets HUNGRY
jim: atleast we know what happened to his wife
"hon whats on the menu?" "why, you are my dear"
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh eating noises gulp ~~~~~ burp
(we pulled up to chrises drive way only to relize there is no room for our suv so i just pulled up into his yard only to relize i had just run over one of his yard decorations
(you see chris likes to collect stuff from the junk yard and weld it and hammer it and sand it and paint it and bend it and weld it some more until it looks,well, worse than it did but he claims it to be MODERN ART and i had just run over his favorite peice, the american eagle perched on top of a globe which took him right in n' around 8 months to build)
jim: oh no
amber: you are a bug on the windshield i meen it the instant he see's this he's gonna run your face through
pastrami slicer then he's gonna take what's left of you to his dungon and feed you to his gaters.
jim: either that or he'll just shoot me with his 10 gage
and then dispose of me to his slug warriar people which he genetically engineered 6 years ago right before his unfortionate shmelting accident.(gold member)
amber:uh,hu you need a life outside of the t.v.
jim:you dont think i know this already
amber: well lets go in and view our fates
jim: (gulp) ok
amber:why is it so dark jim
jim: i,i dunno (that was a lie)
suddenly the lights clicked on and a bunch a folks jumped up and screamed
before her stood all her friends and family
amber: oh my god what is all this
(she looked back at me and i gave her a little wink and smiled)
amber: oh you guys shouldnt have
jim: oh but we did
gary from up stairs:and we have come barring gifts
chris jumps out of the door
chris: hey you guys hide i think i heard jim and amber pull,up.......oh
jim whispering to amber:you can obviously tell he was the genius of the litter
amber: jim you're so bad
jim: i know i am evil mwahahahahahaha
amber:awww you couldnt be that evil you were nice enouph to throw me this wicked awsome party
(she gave me a very tight bear hug)
amber: thank you jim
jim: you're.. (gasp).. welcome
( i kinda cant breath when people hug me or show me affection becouse it just feels, mushy yuck but it was her special day so i hung in there)
amber: you dont know how much this meens to me
jim: well its just party i meen...
amber: no this meens you care
(i nearly choked on this mushy mess and was quikly becoming uncomfortable)
amber: oh how can i repay you guys for this
gary: money would be nice, i dont take checks ,cash only
everyone stares at gary with death glares
all: SHUT UP GARY!!!!!!!!!!!
well after i finally got loose of amber's death grip
i rather injoyed the rest of the party.
chris did find out about me running over his yard decoration but was amzingly calm about it he even looked happy,told us he really didnt like it anymore
thank god for us i guese the gaters will have to waite anothere day to be fed.
mabie about 6 to 7 hours later when we got home
only to relize i had left the keys inside on the couch
"you have got to be kidding me"
so we called mr.beached whale all 800 tons of em (thats 1,600,000 lbs for those of you who cant multiply) up to unlock our door.
right around 8 or nineish i went and got a gift from me
i got her while on the internet a few weeks before "they were very expensive to ,like $500.00 expensive"
(normaly i wouldn't spend that much on regular freinds but you see me and amber have been freinds since we were toddlers or as my granddad says " aye they been mates since they were mer we ones" (he's scottish but amazingly i dont have the accent like he doese but i can fake it just as good as the real thing)
jim: amber!! come quik look at this
(she came barreling into the living room)
amber:what is it, are you hurt whats wrong?!!?!?!?!?
(time to put my acting skills to use)
jim: oh my god whats that on the floor behind you
(that was cheesy, some acting skills)
(she nearly freaked as she jumped and turned around)
amber: huh whats this
(she picked it up and opened it and nearly busted my ear drums from her high pitch squeels of joy, then before i could recover from the ringing in my ears she had me in yet anothere tight embrace (to much mushy,cant breathe)
amber: THANK YOU JIM,THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOOOUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jim: ok can you put me down now i cant breathe properly
amber: oh sorry about that
(she began to turn when she stoped and turned around to me)
jim: what are you doing?
(she leaned down and kissed my cheek)
JIM MUSHY TALARANCE EXCEEDING MAX CAPACITY.
jim: w,what was that for?
amber i know you'll figure it out someday
jim: huh what do you meen BY....
(she just ignored me and walked back to her room)
jim: 'what DID she meen by thaT?'
(to tell you the truth i still dont know what she meant by that i guese im just dense huh)
WELL THATS THE END OF CHAPTER ONE HOPE YOU LIKED IT
IF YA DIDNT THATS OK ILL EXCEPT FLAMMERS BUT THATS THE WAY IT HAPPENED I JUST CALL AS I SEE EM. BUT STAY TUNED FOR NEXT TIME WE BEGIN OUR CROSS COUNTRY ROAD TRIP WITH THE WHOLE CREW TO SANFRASICO CALIFORNIA TO SEE THIS CONCERT AMBER WANTED TO SEE!
WELL tha th th tha thats all folks
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