"Boo-bylon 5"

A Babylon 5 / Animaniacs parody

(with apologies to JMS and Stephen Spielberg)

[The scene opens in Captain Sheridan's office on Babylon 5. Sheridan, Delenn, Garabaldi and Ivanova are standing around waiting. The door opens, and Kosh, looking like a large chicken wearing a very badly fitting encounter suit, enters.]

Ivanova: Captain, I'd like you to meet Ambassador Kosh of the Vorlon Empire. Kosh, this is Captain Sheridan.

Kosh: B'gark? (Translation - Yes.)

Delenn: Kosh is the one who'll help lead the fight against the Shadows.

Kosh: Buk-buk b'gark. (Translation - I have always been here. Learn, Sheridan.)

[Garabaldi looks at Kosh suspiciously]

Sheridan: Garabaldi, what's the matter? Why are you looking at Kosh like that?

Garabaldi: He's a chicken, I tell you! A giant chicken!

[Delenn gives Garabaldi a dirty look. Kosh remains, as ever, impassive.]

Sheridan: Mr Garabaldi, that is not true!

Delenn: Kosh is a Vorlon, a member of a race that once walked among the stars like giants. He will be greatly insulted if you continue with these allegations, and we need him for the great war that is ahead!

[... Just then the Shadows attack the station. In the ensuing battle, 'Kosh' manages to project a beam of light to destroy the Shadows ships, but a stray blast knocks him over and his encounter suit falls off. He is revealed, as usual, to be Boo, a giant chicken]

Sheridan: My God... you're right, Garabaldi - Ambassador Kosh IS a giant chicken!

Delenn: Our hope for victory against the Shadows is gone!

Boo: B'gark? Buk-buk-b'gark?

Ivanova: What shall we do with him, sir?

Sheridan. Space him.

Garabaldi: You're sure about that?

Delenn: Absa-fraggin-lutely!

[Garabaldi and Ivanova take Boo out of Sheridan's office. We cut to Boo, in the remmnants of the encounter suit, floating away in space from the station heading towards the jumpgate. The jumpgate activates, and Boo enters it.]

Boo: Buk-buk b'gark, b'gark? Buk-buk-b'gark! (Translation - I went to Babylon 5 to fight against the Shadows, and all I get is a single moment of perfect beauty!)

Closing voice-over singers: You scheme and you strive / To get on Babylon 5 / But you're no Vorlon, you're a chicken, Boo.

"Boo-bylon 5" copyright 1996 Terry Knight

Babylon 5 and Animaniacs are (C), TM, and probably a whole lot of other things by Time Warner Inc. Usual copyright disclaimer stuff about legal parody use goes here.

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