Parties alive!

Anton M Miller

Well, it had been a while since the obvious had happened and I think it was about time that it took care of itself. Parties may be a part of our lives but this doesn't mean that we can control them. Maybe you think that you are in charge of a party, that you plan it and pay for it and have some sort of control over it. You are obviously wrong.
Parties, as the intensely hedonistic minority (of which I'm a member) can tell you, are their own life force. They answer to no-one. I gave up trying to have parties over a year ago now, but still they continue to happen. I even stopped shopping for a while, denying the beast of it's food, but to no avail, it continued on, slightly less comfortably, but still there none the less.
Maybe I shoud explain myself, but maybe isn't a good enough reason to put you through the kind of intensely random nature of my thought processes.
Tonight, I would try something different. No parties had shown their vicious snouts here for the past week, so I assumed that a larger, more fierce party had scared all the others off. It was only a matter of time before it struck, and I had to time my plan perfectly to overcome this menace of a beast.

The plan was mildly dangerous in a fashion, because if it went wrong, I would have no choice but to face a party made even stronger by my failed attempts. The basic idea of the plan was to wait until the party was just beginning to attack, then draw it's attention away to another house for it to devour, mostly by coaxing it away with the lure of alcohol.
Of course, if this failed, the extra alcohol I had purchased would either be consumed by the party, allowing it to grow to unseen proportions, or cause it to give birth to a number of smaller parties, itself lying dormant until it's offspring died away.

And then it began.
The growl of the party started as a car pulled up, filled with freaks and uni students, followed quickly by another. I rushed out to head them off. Somehow I had to make it seem as if I was heading to the other house, while at the same time staying here to fight off the next wave.
I shouted something incoherent and pointed in the direction of the target house, insinuating that I wasn't ready yet and would leave soon.

The cars quickly took off again towards the house. I don't know how long the party was going to fall for this, but I had no choice. The next wave arrived on foot and I tried the same tactic, but they insisted that they wait while I got ready, after all, how long could that take?
They began to drink, I began to panic and the party began to attack my perimeters. I eventually forced them out the door with an extra bottle of alchohol, not caring how odd I seemed to them.

And then it began.
There was no way to fight off the individuals as they flooded in through the gaps in my defences, and the groups were too strong to push back. They discovered the spare alchohol with a vengance and the party warmed up it's roar that would echo through the night as it rutted and fed over my house.
The party drew in all it's extremeties, returning them from the false leads I had given them, and settled in. I had one weapon left, but in the war against parties, it is the equivalent of a dirty nuke.
Calling the police.

Sighing heavily, I gave up. This party was now unstoppable and I was resigned to keeping it here. There was no telling what damage I would be liable for if it escaped.
And there's the final line on parties. You may not plan, own or control them, but you will always be held responsible.

I lunged into the fray.

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