Sci-Fi Fastball

by Dirk Slawinski
aka Gozer@FurryMuck

   Welcome to Sci-Fi Fastball. This work has been locked in my head since 1984 with many attempts at getting it out. What follows is a piece of fiction with characters loosely based on old high school friends mixed with a little growing up and a dash of my experience as Gozer on the MUD FurryMUCK. My FurryMuck character Gozer actually was born out of this story.

Chapter 1: Let There Be Light

   It was a dark but cloudless night and a shoulder length brunette named Kim Greenway was home alone watching TV. Her folks were out to a movie and Kim was asked to stay home, just in case. She didn't really know why a "just in case" was needed, she was 17 years old and quite capable of taking care of herself around town. After all what possibly could happen in a boring little town like Raymond, New Hampshire. Oh some local yahoo could harass her at the worst, but most of the yahoos were in school with her and knew her well enough to stay clear. Besides it was a great night, the cool fall air was just ripe with the smells of fall apples and fresh cut hay. Plus she wouldn't mind a few nice comments about her maturing 5'8" body, rural teenage girls need that sort of thing every now and then. Meanwhile, the only decent thing on TV was The X-Files, good thing the new season had started, Kim was sick of summer reruns.

   Just a block and a half away in the same subdivision that Kim lived, her friend Cindy Raine was busy doing her homework. She asked herself why she was doing homework on a Friday night, she and Kibbles (Kim) should be out dancing down on the seacoast <yes for those of you who are geographically challenged New Hampshire does have a seacoast albeit only several miles in length>. She bet that even Dan, Tim, and Ron weren't home doing homework. They may be home roel playing till the wee hours, an occasional distraction she herself indulged in, but at least they would be having fun. Well she figured, at least she's prepping herself for univeristy, perhaps that's why Linear Algebra was a "College Prep" class.

   Most scientists believe that there is intelligent life on other planets, most of them wouldn't be caught dead saying it in public, but they believe. If one of those scientist, an astronomer to be exact, would just happen to be looking at Mars that evening he or she might just have gone public with their beliefs. Unfortunately that was not the case, most optical telescopes where trained on the moon these days as the future site of Lunar Disney had just broken ground. After the not so successful EuroDisney, Disney International needed a big "wow" to get new customers so they decided to build Lunar Disney. Besides, Shuttle flights were getting cheaper and the frequent flyer miles alone paid for most of the trip. For you see, rounding from the dark side of Mars was a large spaceship who's purpose is unknown but luckily for you dear reader that soon will change.

   Aboard this ship were 3 frogish snail like beings who were directing its path. The largest of the 3, Grytik, was the captain owing to the fact that he was the biggest and strongest in his office and not just because his wife was clan leader back on Galto 4. His bulging eyes moved from one instrument to another, the eyestalks swaying about the cockpit like reeds in the wind. The other two, Rednyk and John, were his seconds. This meant they actually did all the work and Grytik watched the pretty lights go on and off.

<Universal translator engaged>

   "Ok you swabs, prep the snare pods for Sol 3", blurped Grytik, "and make sure you set the pods to snare 2 of all sexes this time. I don't want another fiasco with only rival males which kill each other off in half an hour."

   "That's right Jo-ohn", Rednyk teased.

   "All right, keep your slime on Captain I've got this one covered", retorted John. "Hey Rednyk, stuff your eyestalk up your <untranslatable>". John then headed for the snare pod launch bay.

   Grytik thought that John's parents must have really hated him or been exceedingly cruel to give him such an absurd name at his 11 year ascentian into maturity. John always needed to prove himself before others, few took him seriously especially that clown Rednyk. The captain took pity on young John and tended to cut him some slack where he might have condemned others to the slave pits. Actually Rednyk looked ripe for those pits next time they returned to the home world.

   Back on Earth Kim's X-file episode dealt with yet again aliens abducting people from their own homes. At the moment an unlucky individual was being levitated out of a room by bright orange lights as Mulder watched amazed while Scully is in a closet looking for clues missing the whole thing yet again. Actually the orange light was rather bright coming from the old 19 inch TV. It actually felt like it was right around her and even stronger in back of her, which was odd. She could even feel the drumdrumdrum sound of the alien ship. Which was rather amusing since the there was a commercial on TV explaining how to quickly cure athlete's foot.

   Kim turned around and saw that a rather large orange ball was floating outside her house and seemed to be trying to find a way in. Now typically large orange balls do not float outside her house and if they did they definitely wouldn't be trying to get in. While the ball tried to figure out the front door Kim made a bolt for the back door and flew through the back yard. In many ways she should have used the "just in case" phone number her folks gave her but...well she doubted that her folks would have believed that an orange ball was trying unsuccessfully to open the front door. She instead decided to head to her best friend, or soon to be ex-best friend if she wasn't home, Cindy's house. Cindy usually knew what to do, she tended to be more of a thinker than Kim who tended to be more of a doer. Thinking in retrospect Kim figured that's why they are such good friends since they compliment each other so well.

   She hopped over the backyard fence and into to the street. Kim looked behind her and saw that the orange ball was starting to follow her. "Well so much for the hide in the streets technique", Kim thought.

   Running down the street Kim realized that she was wearing the red lace teddy that her girlfriends had bought her as a minor joke present for her 17th birthday, they figured she may need it soon. "What an odd and crazy girl folks would think of me if they looked out their window right now", Kim whispered to herself as she looked to see if anyone was looking out their window. All the widows looked pretty dead all around her though, except for the flickering blue light of people's TVs. When she got to Cindy's house she ran up the stairs, started pounding on the door, and called Cindy's name at the top of her lungs.

   Cindy looked up from her book and headed for the door. "Who the heck could be making such a racket at this time of night" she thought. By the time she got to the door she realized it was Kibbles knocking on the door. Cindy looked out of one of the small windows in the door and saw Kim standing there pounding on her door wearing nothing but the red teddy she and the rest of the gals got her for her 17th birthday. She didn't think Kim would ever wear it but she guessed wrong. Cindy opened the door for her. "Egad girl you'll cat...", Cindy didn't have time to finish her sentence before an orange hue covered her best friend and then Kim started to wink out in front of her. Cindy tried to grab Kim but her hand passed right through her and when she drew her hand back in astonishment the hand didn't come back with the rest of her arm. Then her arm also decided it no longer needed to hang around so it faded out as well. Dumb founded and amazed Cindy watched as her body slowly dissolved before her eyes and she thought "Oh well, so much for that Linear Algebra exam on Wednesday".

Chapter 2: What's in a name?

   As John secured the four new acquisitions he decided that he was finally going to get back at Rednyk. He'd switch the names on some of the controls so next time Rednyk was going to flush his excrement out into space it would actually wind up in the Captains quarters. The Captain would take this a blatant attempt by Rednyk trying to claim his cabin as his territory, which is allowed but frowned upon. Being the larger of the two the Captain would have to physically remind Rednyk of his status and then John would have his revenge.

   Unfortunately when that moment of revenge came the ship went into hyperspace and that transition can have dire consequences on items in motion. Suffice it to say that Rednyk's excrement suddenly became an integral but unwanted part of the warp drive. This caused the ship to drop abruptly out of hyperspace and enter into the atmosphere of a nearby backwater planet. This typically is not a good thing.

Chapter 3: A rude awakening!

   "Ouch, did someone get the license of the truck that just ran over me?", moaned Kim as she slowly and painfully regained consciousness.

   "No", Cindy feebly answered, "but if it is any conciliation I don't think there are any tread marks on your forehead." The two girls laughed together at the imagined sight of Kim with a tiny set of semi-trailor tread marks crossing her forehead.

   "Now what the heck have you gotten me into this time Kibbles?", asked Cindy though her mouth was rather inclined not to help out and protested at being forced to work against its will.

   Kim answered, "I don't know, all I remember is this bright orange light, your door and then things sorta go fuzzy and black."

   "Well things aren't exactly all fuzzy and black anymore my friend, they are actually kinda white and stark at the moment", Cindy remarked about their new surroundings.

   Actually Kim and Cindy's new surroundings were exactly white and stark and were meant to be that way so that new "specimens" would not be traumatized. Oh the room they are in now has everything they'll ever need, but they'll have to find it first. This keeps the new "specimens" engaged and active so that they would not despair after having been wrenched from their natural environments. Some of the developers of the ship had said that the rooms should emulate as much as possible the environment of the incoming species. However, this was logistically impossible since one would have to duplicate large expanses in a small space so the owner went with the cheap route.

   "You know Kibbles I kind of feel rather awkward sitting in an empty white room with nothing on but a pair of old panties, my INXS tour shirt and my bunny slippers."

   "Yeah, well how do you think I feel?", Kim retorted, "All I have on is this red teddy you guys gave me! Now that is what I call rather EM-BARE-ASS-ING."

   "Yeah, especially since you told us that you would never wear such a ridiculous outfit.", Cindy teased.

   "Well errrr...ummm...yeah, you see...", Kim squirmed. "Sometimes I wear it, when I'm home alone, it makes me feel more feminine. Tomboys like me usually don't get to feel that way you know, but then you really would not know about such things."

   "This is true." Cindy said while idly flipping some fluff from her shoulder length brown hair.

   Cindy's not exactly what you call a "looker", she's 5'4" and a little on the plump side with a breast size to match. Most guys would call her cute and as such has had a fair number of dates. Kim on the other hand being a little taller at 5'8" and more of an athletic build had a bit different reaction with guys. They tended to avoid her romantically since she could beat most of them in any sport and so they usually treated her as "one of the guys". It didn't exactly help her feminine image that during the summers she worked as an apprentice electrician.

   "Enough of this chit-chat," Kim said in a determined voice as she stood up, "I intend to find some decent clothes and something to eat. There must be some kind of door or something that is supposed to tell us where we are."

   "And right you are my dear lady", came an unexpected voice from behind one of the four walls.

Chapter 4: After being abducted by aliens what could be worse?

   "Did you hear that Kim?", Cindy asked as she looked around the room.

   "You mean that voice from roughly nowhere?", Kim looked around the room trying to see if she could see where it came from. Kim said, "I believe it came from this wall.". When Kim reached the wall it felt soft and warm to the touch. "Hey Cindy! I think this wall is alive, maybe it said it."

   "Yes, the wall is alive as is a good part of this ship, but the wall can not speak so you are part right and part wrong.", came the voice again.

   "Oh Great Kim, it sounds like we have a teacher on the other side of that living wall.", Cindy said. "Hey Teach, how about telling us why you captured us and why you are keeping us locked up in an empty room."

   "Do ya 'ear dat Gozer, dey dink we are da ones dat are keepin im in der.", came another gruffer and not all that pleasant sounding voice. "Ya know we could take advantage of dis situation, get us some freebies. Know what I mean?"

   "Quiet Tim, these poor beings are probably already shook up and they don't need the likes of you to make things worse!", the first voice rebuked.

   "Arrggh, ya party poopa. I don't know why I 'ang out wit ya.", the second voice lamented.

   "Because, you have driven all others away including those of your own race you scraggly little miscreant!"

   "Sounds like we've been captured by Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck," Kim remarked, "though Daffy sounds a little bit more disagreeable in this case."

   "They sound more like Abbot and Costello to me,", Cindy said, "but I guess Bugs and Daffy are equally funny."

   "I am afraid we are not these Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck individuals you speak of. My name is Gozer and my friend, and I use this term loosely, is Tim. We are specimens in this zoo as much as you are and cannot directly remedy your situation. The design of the cells is...".

   "Hey, Cindy look! I managed to get some kind of computer terminal to open from this wall." Kim and Cindy had been examining their room during Gozer's little talk. "Sorry there, Gozer you said, right? Sorry but we're kind of trying to get some clothing and food so don't think us rude. Hey cool. Cindy this thing has a touch screen."

   "Move over, let me see", Cindy bumped her friend out of the way to get a better look, "Man this thing looks pretty easy to use. I bet this picture of a basket of fruit will get us closer to getting some food."

   "Nonono, press that picture of a shirt and pants. I need to get some decent cloths, especially with Bugs and Daffy just on the other side of the wall."

   "As I was saying before your outbursts of joy, the design of the cells is to teach the occupants how things work here on the zoo." explained Gozer. "However, once you figure out the wall controls then Tim and I can help you with the rest."

   "Couldn't you just tell us how to open the door since you are willing to help us with the rest already?", asked Cindy as she moved Kim out of the way.

   "Well er...", Gozer started.

   "Wa, an ruin yer fun wit da controls?", interjected an annoyed Tim. "All anyone eva asks fer is 'elp. Can't ya figa it out ya selves or are ya ta lazy or stupid fer dat?"

   "That was rather rude.", rebuffed a rather surprised Kim. "Gozer doesn't your friend have anything better to do than verbally attack people?"

   "Hey Kim, I've picked out some cloths for you."

   Kim looked at Cindy with a wary eye.

   "Don't worry I chose practical ones.", defended Cindy. A pair of jeans, at least they look like jeans, a shirt, and what appears to be some sort of sweatshirt. I even picked out some undies for us. They must have some odd people in this zoo. I came across a bra that had four cups in two rows of two.
   There seemed to be no way to choose a size though. However, if I pick an item it appears and floats over in the corner. It then blinks and disappears."

   "Cool Cindy. I think I know how this might work. Show me the jeans. OK, now I'm going to pick a pair and then..."

   When the jeans appeared in the corner Kim passed through them. She then positioned herself into them.

   "This is cool, I can feel them fitting onto me as if they were real. If they feel tight and I concentrate I can make them looser and even shorter. Now press on the image again and I bet I'll have a nice pair of pants."

   Cindy pressed the image, but the jeans blinked out and then reappeared again as before.

   "Errg...I got that wrong. Let us try this one more time."

   "Har har har.", came Tim's gruff voice. "Dis sure beats watchin da grass grow."

   "I think you are being quite rude today Tim. How do you ever expect us to gain these ladies trust if you keep behaving this way?"

   "Look 'ere Goza, I don't need ta trust nobudy but me. Got dat?"

   "Just keep telling yourself that my short tempered friend, just keep telling yourself.", Gozer mumbled under his breath.

   "Kibbles, since the jeans feel real when they fit why not just walk away with them on. That would be the logical next step."

   "Good point Cindy, I'll give it a try." Once the jeans fit Kim walked out of the corner and sure enough the jeans came with her. "Cindy, you were right. Thank you. Now lets try the shirt and the rest."

   "OK Kibbles, what color?"

   "Ahm...lets go with a blue shirt and white sox and undies. Oh and pick some nice hiking boots. Oh Oh and a nice durable green day pack."

   "Geesh Kim, anything else, like a kitchen sink?"

   "Hehe haha, and you call yourself a friend? Just make with the cloths so I can feel safe."

   As Kim and Cindy outfitted themselves Gozer and Tim stand around looking at each other with apprehension.

   "So Goz, do ya tink dat we should tell em about da males?"
   "No my scruffy little friend, we have no idea how they may react. It says here on the info screen outside their cell that their race generally mates for life and what we have seen from the males so far is not indicative of that nature at all. It may be that the males behave differently when in the presence of the females. But, as with all new comers we just don't know."

   "Well Cindy, I think that catsuit you picked out may be a little too flashy. Besides don't you think you are a little too, um, big hipped?
"
   "OK, I'll do the jeans and shirt thing like you, but I'm keeping the catsuit by the way. You never know when one might need extra clothing."

   "Hmm... extra clothing, that is a good idea. I think I'll get myself a nice pair of overalls and another shirt or two."

   "You know Kim, with all this 'shopping' I'm getting quite hungry. We also need to think about getting out of here. Maybe Bugs out there can give us a hand if we have problems, but I'd feel better knowing how to get out of our cell on our own."

   "I agree. Let's finish up and get something to eat."

   Ahem, ladies is every going OK? I mean we don't want to pressure you, but usually by this time folks have the cell door open."

   "Sorry if we are slow, but I doubt we're going anywhere.", Kim answered. "Besides we have no idea why you want us to open our door."

   "Yes, your offer of help could just be a rouse to gain our trust. You could be waiting to kill and eat Kim and me. Your buddy Tim sure sounds like the sort of character that may try it."

   "Ay, ere now! I don't eat potential friends especially female ones. I tink dat maybe yur urtin me feelins an dat tis none ta friendly."

   "Don't take it personal. I am sure you can understand our position, plucked from our homes, dumped into an alien cell with who knows what on the other side of the door, and no way of knowing if there is a way to get back home. It is enough to make a girl go crazy. Plus Kim and I are hungry."

   "Hmmm... I see ya point. OK I accept ya apology an promise not ta eatcha."

   "Tim! That last comment was uncalled for. Though I must admit it was rather funny." Gozer ended with a chuckle.

   "OK Kim, it is time we got busy and get ourselves out of this cell. I think we have a decent set of cloths now and a few needed items."

   "Agreed, though I'd feel a little safer with some kind of weapon. I doubt we could fight off an attacker with a book bag and a bunch of maxi-pads."

   "Hehehehehe, agreed. Now if I were an alien abductor where do you suppose I would put a door handle? Do you see any sign of a handle, knob, or button over at the 'talking' wall Kibbles?"

   "I see nothing here Cindy, not even so much as a crack or joint."

   "Hmmm... let us see what the old touch screen can tell us. Well now, this is new. After we got that food a new icon appeared on the screen. Guess what it looks like Kim?"

   "Oh I don't know, maybe a door or window."

   "Hey, your right! How did you do that?"

   "I peeked over you shoulder, hehehehehehe."

   "Well ladies it sounds like you are on track now. We should be able to talk to each other in person shortly."

   "Dat's right. Soon ya will be part o' da family 'ere. Well, at least as close as one can come ta one 'ere."

   "Oh joy of joys Cindy. Push the icon and let's see what happens."

   When Cindy touches the icon of a door several things happen all at once. First their cell "grows' some basic furniture, a couch, a couple of beds, and a table. Dividers appear between the furniture and their respective new rooms seem to increase in size. And lastly several doors appear to come into focus on several walls including the wall associated with the voices of Gozer and Tim.

   "Egad Cindy, that made my head spin! What the heck happened?"

   "I guess that once you are settled in and are ready to leave the cell the ship must also think you are ready to 'live' here as well. Look there are three doors to check out. We can probably assume that the one over at the talking wall leads out of the cell, but these two I am not to sure about."

   "Well I bet that one definitely leads to a bathroom, we have not seen any sign of one yet and one did not seem to grow with the rest of the furniture. I doubt that the other one is a kitchen though since we can get all our food via the touch screen. I'm going to check them out."

   "No Kim wait!" But it was already too late Kim had opened the first door much to Cindy's shock.

   "Don't fear Cindy, it is a bathroom and a nice one at that. It even has a hot tub along with a large shower. We may have been abducted by aliens, but aliens with class."

   "I wonder what the other door is then? Hey Gozer, what is behind the other door?", Cindy asked.

   "If you ladies would open 'our' door we'd be more than happy to show you. However, if you are still worried about our intensions we understand don't we Tim."

   "Tis no fur off my back."

   "Yeah, well um, anyway I can assure you that what is behind the other door cannot harm you directly."

   "Cindy, did I hear right. Did the gruff one say fur?"

   "Well Kibbles, we are on an alien ship. They could look like anything.", Cindy said. "I'm going to trust that what Gozer said is true and that the other door poses no immediate threat so lets...". But before Cindy could finish her sentence her brave friend had already opened the second door.

   "Oh my gosh Cindy, you're not going to believe what is out here!"

THE END
for now...