Shrell's body stiffened as the pain came again and she thrashed on the ground,
trying so hard to bear it and fight back. She had fought so much already, though,
and she was tired, so tired. She relaxed just the tiniest bit inside out of
exhaustion, but the Ghost-Within knew right away and attacked her with renewed
strength and intensity. She cried out in desperation as she felt it pushing
her back, taking over ever so slowly.
"Shrell, you can win, you are stronger. Fight it, dominate it!" Andonis
was commanding from somewhere nearby. Shrell turned towards where she thought
Andonis was, but could make out nothing in the blur that surrounded her.
"I'm trying, Aunt, but it is so strong and it never tires." Shrell
gasped, forcing the Ghost-Within back again for the ump-teenth time.
Aunt Andonis did not appreciate what it was like to have a ghost inside that
wanted so much to take over. She never relented in her commands to dominate
it. It just wasn't as simple as that, though. Every time Shrell fought the Ghost-Within,
she felt like she was tearing out her own insides. The pain was horrendous and
Shrell wanted so much just to leave the Ghost-Within alone for a little while,
but Andonis did not appreciate that kind of thinking.
"How will you dominate it and destroy it if you don't have the will to
finish the battle?" She demanded scornfully.
"It's not like that - " Shrell would try to say, but Andonis would
not listen.
"Do what she says, Sweeting." Shrell's mother would tell her gently,
"She is wise and she wants you to win."
"What does she know about it, anyway?" Shrell would ask bitterly.
"She spent many days with old Martha when she was still alive and Martha
knew many things that she was happy to share. She told Andonis of an ancient
affliction that was like a ghost wolf inside. She is the only one that can help
you, Shrell. Please do what she says."
"Shrell, you are not fighting!" Andonis shouted now, "You have
to fight until you win."
"I have been fighting forever, Aunt, I am so tired."
She almost wanted the Ghost-Within to win so that at least she could finally
rest. As if in response to that thought, the Ghost-Within rose for another brutal
attack and she writhed and gasped. Would letting the Ghost-Within win really
be all that bad?
"It would be the most awful thing in the world!" Andonis barked, and
Shrell realised she had spoken her wonderings aloud. It did not bode well for
her battle if she didn't even have control of what she said and what she kept
to herself anymore.
"I would be free." She heard herself say, and she knew that it wasn't
her thought, or at least it wasn't all her thought. She was too tired to think
about it.
"Shrell, you're slipping!" Andonis snarled.
The Ghost-Within swelled in anger and growled warningly at Andonis. How dare
she interfere? Shrell wasn't sure if that thought was her own or the ghost's.
The pain was fading and she didn't want to disturb the temporary peace by questioning
too deeply.
"Shrell! Wake up and fight!"
"Shrell is asleep, leave us alone." Shrell was dimly aware of the
words coming out of her mouth, but they couldn't be hers. They sounded strange.
"Leave Shrell alone, you beast!" Andonis hissed.
"I am Shrell."
"No you're not! You are a weak, bodiless ghost that would pick on helpless
cubs." Andonis growled.
Shrell felt her body rise and the pain returned again for a moment, then ebbed
away. She was so tired, but something urgent needed to be done and she didn't
know what it was.
"Aunt?" She whispered, "Do you know what it is?"
Andonis' face softened for a moment in terrible sadness. So she did have a heart.
"Shrell, you are still there. Please, fight, please. I'm begging you to
fight just a little longer."
Shrell didn't hear her. She thought she must be underwater or buried in something
warm and comforting. She didn't want to hear her Aunt anymore. She could see
and hear, but everything seemed to be a very long way away and she was happy
to float and let someone else worry about all that. She felt herself slipping
farther away, but the urgency was still there, growing stronger.
"I do not need to fight." Shrell's body said in that strange voice.
"I am talking to Shrell!" Andonis said angrily, "Leave her!"
"I am Shrell." Shrell's vision swung around and she could see the
darkness of the night outside the cave, now. That was it! She had to go out
there. The night beckoned her and she drifted towards it.
"Shrell! Come back, Shrell!" Andonis shrieked from another world,
"You have lost the battle!"
"Not I or Shrell, but thou hast lost." The strange voice said.
Shrell's desire to be outside with the night suddenly intensified to the kind
of painful yearning that usually heralded the stirring of the Ghost-Within.
This time, though, she would go. She would run free like the wind and no one
would stop her. She wondered briefly where this thought had come from, but it
brought pain and so she stopped wondering and just walked out into the night.
Instantly the yearning became everything and with a wild howl, Shrell fled into
the darkness where finally she would be free, free after all this time.
"Thank thou, Shrell." The strange voice said with a quiver, "Thou
hast given up much this night, but thou will be happy in the freedom I will
bring thou."
Shrell laughed, but it was a reaction powered by no thought. Thought was something
she did not have anymore. The strange voice laughed crazily with her and they
tore off into the night.